Smile Because It Happened

Today was my last day at a job that I can truly say I absolutely loved. A pivotal time in my life. I didn’t want to leave by any means, but this is a prime example of a mother’s sacrifice.

Let me rewind a year…

At the beginning of October last year, I was at my breaking point. Full-time stay at home mom and begging for a break, but not getting any relief. So out of desperation, my solution was to get a job just to get out of the house. But if I was going to go back to work, I wanted to do what I was passionate about since that was going to be my break. What would I really want to do? Visuals. I loved it 13 years ago and have never been able to get back to it. However, that’s a tricky job to find, for one, and second, I’m clearly a bit rusty. Long story short; I found a visuals position at Buckle. Applied, interviewed and accepted the position, filed for a divorce the day after our wedding anniversary and started work the next day. Just so happens that my boss was the same manager I worked for ten years prior at a different company. It’s pretty crazy how things come full circle. We hit it off right away. Little did I know that our one of a kind partnership would become so much more. A connection that few can say they’ve experienced.

This last year has been a serious roller coaster. It took eight months to finalize my divorce and during that time, I juggled the kids, my job, selling our home, moving, financial stress, relationships and all of the emotions that come with it all. There were some extremely low valleys, but I’ve had some unbelievable highs that outweigh the lows and it all has molded me into the woman I am today. Going to work every day saved me. My safe place. My happy place. Not only did it give me the break I so desperately craved, but I rediscovered my passion, self-worth, strength, growth and confidence. I rediscovered myself and I love who I have become! Not to brag, but she’s pretty amazing! I learned the importance of self-care and how to balance my life as a mom and a woman. Starting a new phase of life and taking the time to carefully evaluate each step. And on that road, meeting some of the most valuable people along the way.

My circle is very small and I like it that way. There are very few people who just get me on every level and appreciate, accept and understand my raw authenticity to the core. Without judgement! I can’t tell you exactly when it happened, but a few of the women I worked with became the absolute light of my life. My work wives. People come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime and these are friendships I’ve gained for a lifetime. I’m certain of it! These women have been present through all the shit and rainbows. Sharing the ridiculous adventures of motherhood, relationships, laughing to tears, venting about the silly work woes, goofing off, celebrating and supporting each other day in and day out.

Leaving this phase behind has been crushing. It’s not just a job to me. I’m closing a chapter of life that has forever changed me. Leaving a job that has fed my soul in every way. Never in my life have I struggled so much to transition to something new. However, with that being said, I know I’m doing what is necessary for my children. Again, I find myself sacrificing some of myself for them. Sometimes it comes at a very high price. And yes, it goes hand in hand at times, but it doesn’t make it easier. I’m starting a new career and while I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity and how it came to be, I am also incredibly sad and afraid of losing sight of myself once again when I worked so hard to get here! I am a fighter and I will always do my best to do what is necessary and in the best interest of my children. They are relying on me and looking to me as an example and I hope that one day they will see what a badass mom they have. As much as I complain about being a mom, I would move mountains to ensure that they are well, loved and cared for. I am infinitely grateful for the adventure and hope that one day I will be reunited with my passion and the people that encompass it.

As Steph would say, “it’s a journey!” And my gosh, isn’t she right?