It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything. Months actually. So with the holidays that have come and gone, I’ve been reflecting on the last year and pondering over my hopes and dreams for 2018.
I thought 2016 was a rough year?! 2017 put us through another round for our family and me personally. We moved back to Colorado from California in January of 2016 and lived with my in-laws for almost 8 months with the hope of paying off debt and getting back on our feet again after getting crushed financially in California. However, along with that came some hardships of living with other people. Four other people besides my family of three. It was crowded and hard to keep the peace many times. My in-laws were in the middle of separating so we were living in the middle of the whole crisis. It took a toll on all of us and drove us to ultimately buy a place of our own. Now THAT whole process of finding and buying our condo was another feat. We ended up living with my mother for three months while we fought for our home. Actually, our agent Mimi fought for it. She was amazing to say the least. And she really made it happen for us. Thank goodness for her! So we moved into our new house just before Christmas 2016 and started renovating. Did I mention that we found out we were expecting our second baby during all this? Yeah, just a little cherry on top as motivation to get into a house ASAP. So we took on our house project…ripped up all the carpet and laid new flooring down ourselves, painted the whole place, redid the bathroom, opened up the kitchen…and a few other fix-ups. All to be finished before March 1st, my due date. Let me just say (and I know my husband will agree), we are not into buying another fixer-upper the next time around…unless someone else is going to do all the work before we move in. We were nuts…and we still aren’t even close to finishing everything. But hey, it’s a whole lot better than what it was when we moved in! So in the last year of living in our house, I can honestly say that I have fulfilled my promise to my husband and made our house a home. And we love it!
Then 2017 rolled in and we were busy getting our house ready in preparation for the new baby. Also potty training our 2 1/2 year old, at the time. Never a dull moment. I worked all the way up to my due date in hopes that I’d catch some rest before the baby came….but when I stopped working on February 28th, I went into labor that night. Go figure. We welcomed our son, on my due date, and reveled in the time I got to spend with him and my new family of four before going back to work three months later. Having our second child really rocked our worlds. In every way. I was apprehensive about having a second baby…a boy this time around…but that changed the second he was put on my chest. I was nervous how our daughter was going to react to not being the center of our attention anymore…but she loves him just as much as when she first met him. I always knew she was never meant to be an only child. It’s the sweetest thing to watch those two. However, my husband? It didn’t rock his world much until the day I went back to work. We are fortunate (or unfortunate…depends on who you ask) that our work schedules allow us to juggle our kids between us instead of paying for childcare during the day. So when I went back to work, my husband was NOT ready. I mean, not at all. The next three months were pretty hard on him. Juggling everything was overwhelming and causing him to shut down. In multiple ways. In September, he went to a CrossFit competition and when he came back, the following months proved to be the most difficult three months, as a couple, in our seven years together. It literally almost broke us. THIS close. For me, as brutal as it was, I know I can say that I have grown from those hard times and found a new side of myself (and my husband) and it has brought us closer than ever. That through honesty, communication and acceptance we can move forward together. Stronger than before and more confident in our partnership. Carving the time out for each other is THE most important key to keeping our marriage thriving.
So through this last year, in particular, I’ve been reminded of the importance of friendships. True friends that will literally stick with you through thick and thin. There is a lot of truth in marrying your best friend. As each partner has their moments of struggles, the other is there…waiting, supporting and working through the low points. There’s a reason why My group of friends is so small…because a lot of people end up feeling “used” whereas I see it a little differently, not 50-50. A two way street yes, …but traffic is sometimes heavier on the other side, depending which way you go. One person may need more help, love, support, and lifting up until the roles are reversed. Question is, who will be there? Will I be there for my friend in their time of need, no questions asked? Is that taking advantage? No…because I would hope that they would rely on me in the same way when they have nowhere else to turn. Never to be abandoned when shit hits the fan. Friends that will stay…without judgement. We are taught not to judge, but when beliefs and morals clash, it’s inevitable. To overcome that and to accept others that are different, I’m learning that experience, exposure, patience, and practice are key. Practice what you preach. Open your mind. You never know what will come around to test you and your limits.
What do I hope for this next year? A year of continuous growth and love. And everything that entails. Goodbye 2017….hello 2018!! Bring on the adventures!
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.” – Robin Sharma
Broken Crayons Still Color 
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