Tired as a Mother

Some days, I seriously want to cry from exhaustion. Every mom knows what I’m talking about. Today was one of those days.

I don’t even know how many times I woke up in the middle of the night with Lennox and another couple times with my daughter (which is rare), but by 6:15 this morning, I was already ready for the day to be over. I could hardly keep my eyes open and my patience jar was empty. I wished more than anything that my son would just go back to sleep…but in his own bed…and that my daughter would just leave me alone for two minutes! Without fail, every morning, the first thing I wake up to is “Maman, I’m still hungry.” (In case you were wondering, its French for Mom) It’s the most magical way to wake up in the mornings, don’t you think? No good morning or I love you or morning snuggles. Just “I’m still hungry.” Best. Thing. Ever. Am I allowed to respond with, “Maeva, I’m still tired.” No, no I can’t. I have to use every ounce of strength (and sanity) to haul my butt out of bed. No mother ever gets to sleep in. Seriously. It’s impossible. Someone always needs something from Mom. It’s inevitable. OK, so my husband works very early in the mornings. We are very fortunate that we are able to coordinate our schedules to raise our kids between us, don’t get me wrong. And I’m very aware that it’s taxing for him, so I’m not trying to discredit him. He’s up at 4am, even on Saturdays, and is home before I head out for work myself. But on his days off, Maeva will come into our room in the morning and tell me, “shhhh! Papa is sleeping!” Um, hi. Did you not just see that my eyes were shut as well before you came in to inform me that he was sleeping? Come on! Not once has she ever said, “shhhhh! Maman is sleeping!” Tired, people. I’m so flippin’ tired!

Remember going to the movies and it would say “silence is golden” across the screen? Do they even still do that? It’s been a while for me. But that’s besides the point. The whole “silence is golden” thing? It’s true. Whoever came up with that slogan must’ve been a mom. For real….try to get a three year old to stop talking. I swear everything she thinks comes out of her mouth…all day long. Some of it doesn’t even make sense! It doesn’t help that I’m trying to teach her French as well, so having to distinguish between the two languages is a task all on its own. My brain cannot keep up. Just listening to her makes me want to take a nap. Makes sense why kids sleep so well at night…but Moms don’t? That is so twisted.

This is not me asking for a pity party. If anything, I have to laugh to not cry. Ha! I’m aware what I got myself into. At least I think I am and some days I’m in total denial. Some days, without shame, I wish I could have my single life back, no offense. Don’t judge me. Or go ahead, but don’t lie and tell me you haven’t thought the same thing. Mmhmmm. I love my kids more than anything and I know I’m fortunate to have them. Not everyone is able. I get that. I truly know how hard each and every mother works. I also know that my husband understands, to some extent, what it’s like since he stays with them during the day. But I know in our house, Mom is the one who’s keeping the house running. Believe me, he’ll agree. Between co-parenting, keeping the house clean (as much as I can, anyway), cooking, laundry, waking up with the kids (middle of the night or morning), grocery shopping (with both kids) and for me, working outside of the home and finishing most days with a nice CrossFit workout…the days really catch up to me. So forgive me while I hide in the office and drink my tea for two minutes in silence. If it really exists. Maybe it’s spiked. You’ll never know.

Oh, look at the time! TGIB! Don’t know that one? Let me enlighten you…Thank Goodness It’s Bedtime.